From age 16 to 23 I wrote poetry, and in 2004 self published a book, ‘Stranger In The Moving Chair’ (still available to buy via the contact page of this website) The last poem in the book was the last poem I wrote. It closed a chapter to my life.
I wrote a few more poems 6 years later, but again stopped writing, and focused on artwork.
2 nights ago I felt I’d really like to write something again, and while lying down, I got out a pen and paper. I usually write free verse (not rhyming,) but I wanted to see if I could write something that rhymed. It poured out of me, and 20 minutes later this was what I had written:
“A Place I Go”
© 2015 By Shiloh Moore
17/11/15
(Age 35)
Despite constant pain and
Despite all the fears,
Despite the frustration
And the many tears
Over all these years
I have slowly grown,
To accept, and know a place
I can go on my own
Where fears are calmed
And inner peace pervades…
Where I love my life
Despite the pain that invades
I feel ‘held’ by hope
By strength, in reflection
And am ultimately moved
By a strong connection:
Despite the isolation
And no ability to travel
To see the sights nor
Be involved in person
Nor ‘contribute to society’
On a monetary level
Or to live my life
To its full potential
I long for a life partner
To share life and to intimately know
And I grieve for our children
Who will never grow
In my fantasies
I have the strength and the power
To talk endlessly with friends…
Or at least for one whole hour
Despite all this I feel I belong
To this universe, and to all humanity
Even in deafening solitude
I feel innate purpose, I feel free
I am grateful knowing this place
Where I not only merely exist
But live satisfied with all I have –
This gives me strength to persist
It’s hard to imagine
Living this way
For the rest of my life…
Till I’m old and grey
Living this way
For the rest of my life…
Till I’m old and grey
So I live in this moment,
And block out the pain
I go to this place
Where deep down I’m ok.
And block out the pain
I go to this place
Where deep down I’m ok.
The pain overwhelmingly aches
But deep within my soul
I know of this place, where
Within this life, I feel whole
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Its a beautiful poem. I can feel your pain. And I am so so proud of you.
Thank you so, so very much Prerna. It's wonderful to get feedback from you. You are a genuinely loving soul. xx