I have been able to play my beloved flute for 5 mins several times! Miraculous!
I have not played in 32 years, since I was 14. It was my vocation, flute was my passion. It was the hardest thing I ever had to give up.
I have barely forgotten anything, I even have vibrato in my tone on sustained notes that I worked so hard to develop. The breath makes me high! Playing hurts, but not as much as expected. I’m so grateful for the care I receive, especially physio for 20 years, that has made it possible.
Even listening to music has been too painful, as I automatically imagine the piano or flute fingering and even imagining this movement hurts! Recently I discovered that if I ‘conduct’ with my eyes, and move my (closed) eyes with the melody they don’t hurt as much. Recently when I was bedridden for ten days, unable to talk with Covid, I was able to listen to all my favourite music from my teens and twenties and imagine playing along with flute. This is my biggest breakTHROUGH in meditation yet!
I drew this selfie of me lying down, playing flute in my Frida shirt. I think it’s my fave selfie portrait yet! I drew Frida in 2018, one of my first portraits on the iPad, before my rainbow bubbles style was developed. I was introduced to Frida when I was 16 after giving up the flute, and she inspired me to express myself by drawing. She taught me I can transform my pain into beauty. Many artists draw Frida, so I remember feeling like a true certified artist once I’d finally drawn her!